OLIVIA RODRIGO, PLEASE, I AM 30

 

Like several different unhappy ladies with massive Feelings WHO came aged at a similar time as Taylor Swift, I went through songwriting innovate high school. If you happen to be AN previous schoolfellow WHO detected Pine Tree State plinking a stringed instrument to any of the handfuls of songs I placed on Myspace or compete during a church gymnasium, no, you didn’t. Would I actually have crushed it as a renowned Teen? fully, however, that’s neither here nor there, and it’s not why I'm before you nowadays. I'm here to speak concerning Olivia Rodrigo’s debut album bitter and the way it’s aiming to build Pine Tree State forget I'm a complete thirty years previous. As a big girl with questionable style and an excessive amount of net access, it’s prejudicial on behalf of me to understand that a number of Rodrigo’s lyrics pull from the world. it'd be embarrassing if I, say, took a deep dive into a Disney-induced love triangle that involves those that are younger than the children I babysat are at once. it'd hurt my feelings to understand that I actually have a hoodie I got a similar year Rodrigo’s rumored-ex Joshua Bassett was born. it'd be dangerous on my behalf of me to begin carrying that hoodie, right? What if I crop it though? Haha, simply kidding … unless? Given the visceral reaction I’m presently having — specifically to pop-punk-influenced songs like “brutal” and “jealousy, jealousy” — I cannot imagine the Problem™ I might are had this album pop out once I was seventeen. She screams! She swears!” Pine Tree State neither, Olivia! I'm 30! I got my driver’s license in 2006, however, you’re painfully mistaken if you don’t assume I belt “RED LIGHTS, STOP SIGNS” at my husband when 2 (2) glasses of wine. (No offense, Olivia, however, I'm married! I’m sorry!)